Disappointed in Himself
by 8D.XD.83
Summary: Modern AU. Flynn and Yuri have always been equals, one supporting the other. But when Flynn seems unable to land his dream job on the police force, he has to deal with something he has rarely dealt with in his life: failure. Is he anything more than a burden on Yuri, whose own life seems to finally be coming together?


**_So, this is a story that I wrote for the "Tales of Big Bang Project", over on tumblr. I leave the link below for anyone who might want to read it over there. The project paired writers up with anonymous artists, and my story had a beautiful picture drawn by Ravenbow! It's a super wonderful picture, and I'm so grateful that everything turned out so wonderful. I wasn't going to post this here originally, but then I figured I might as well._**

 ** _Story link on tumblr: post/149521049339/disappointed-in-himself_**

 ** _Picture link: post/149526066460/artist-ravenbow-art-blog-artists-comments_**

* * *

Flynn set his phone down on the table and released a shaky breath. No, it couldn't be. He had been so close this time! He had almost made it! Why did things always turn out this way? He tried so hard, he had made it so far, and right when his dream was within his grasp the opportunity had slipped right out of his fingers and flew away. He had even made it to the interview this time. Why wasn't he good enough?

Flynn had just applied for a job as a local police officer in his home town of Zaphias. The police station was located just a little ways outside the neighborhood that he had grown up in. He had been overjoyed as he discovered the job opening after many weeks worth of waiting and research online. After having been in the military for a little bit and having graduated from police school, Flynn's greatest desire was to follow in his Father's footsteps and protect his friends and the citizens of his neighborhood. But the thing was, no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't seem to land a job that didn't entail being a waiter.

He didn't understand. He had graduated from his school at the top of his class. He had always been ambitious and put his best effort forth in everything. Why wasn't it enough? His resume had been good enough to land him an interview with the Chief of Police, Alexei Dinoia. But when Flynn went in for the interview, he met with one of the Chief deputies, Cumore. Cumore was less than fond to see Flynn, and when they met he refused to even shake his hand, as if he had been covered in some kind of dirt. The interview had been brief, but Flynn still felt as if he had tried his best.

But he had just gotten the call. The call that the job had been handed to somebody else. Somebody better than him. Somebody that was more qualified than him. He had failed. He was disappointed in himself. He was certain that he had let down everyone around him, everyone who had believed in him. He thought his Father would have been disappointed in him, too.

A while after Flynn had set his phone down, he sat at the kitchen table, desolate. He had applied at other jobs, but this was the closest that he had ever been. He had been so close. He just wanted an opportunity to prove himself. He knew he could do good, if only they would give him a chance. He wasn't the only one who couldn't seem to land a job with the police force in this city. There had been others who Flynn had kept in touch over the internet with who had the same trouble. But then others who seemed to have no qualifications were hired right out of graduation.

Flynn jumped when he felt a hand clap his shoulder. "Don't let this get you down. You can do better than this. You _will_ do better than this."

It was his Yuri, keeping his face neutral, as always. "I thought I did so well. I don't understand…" Flynn said softly, in dismay.

"You did do well. The system's just so messed up that it's bound to be difficult to break through. Don't take it personally."

"But if I did well then why wasn't it enough…?" Flynn buried his head in his arms and Yuri took a seat next to him.

"It's your dream right? Keep trying. You know I'll always be here to keep pushing you forward."

"But Yuri… I don't want to mooch off of you. We can't keep living this way, I mean… I have to get a job that pays well sometime. I can't just live off of the money that you make as chef. I'm just a waiter and that's only because your friend Judith was kind enough to help me get the job. Not to mention rent and your school loan and I still need to make payments on mother's funeral and the apartments falling to pieces-"

"Flynn-" Yuri said sharpy.

The other fell silent. "You're doing it again! You're overthinking these things. Look, I know you're all stressed out but you can't just keep thinking about things like that you're you'll only get more bent out of shape. Just relax. We've got this."

"No Yuri! I can't relax! I can't! You're not taking this seriously enough! Again!" Flynn snapped, "We're adults now! You can't just keep pretending like everything will be alright and looking away from things that will come back to bite you later!"

Yuri's expression turned to one that was slightly that of anger: "Well, you don't have to do what I say. Stay stressed out this whole time, what do I care? You're the one's who's going to get hurt the most going on like this."

Flynn couldn't handle this right now. He needed some fresh air and away from this guy. He stood up and walked over to the coat hanger and yanked off his jacket. "Whatever. I'm going for a walk. Don't wait on me for dinner."

"Fine then. Since your such an adult you can make whatever choices you want."

The blonde paused for a moment, with his hand on the doorknob. He almost turned around right there, he wanted to punch the smug look off of that face so badly. But it would only make things worse, and Flynn didn't think that he could take it if it really got too much worse. So instead, without a word or second glance he headed out and down the apartment hallway, and into the cool evening air of the city.

* * *

When Flynn had returned home from his walk- or whatever he had been doing- he didn't even bother saying anything to his boyfriend. He walked right past him, took a shower and then went to bed. Yuri knew that whenever Flynn started giving others the silent treatment it meant that he was really angry. It hadn't actually been that long since their last fight, and the details were almost the same as this. It was all just because those stupid idiot's at the police station- or anywhere Flynn had applied for a job- just couldn't see his boyfriend's true value. Being rejected so many times was really starting to wear on him.

He didn't agree with Flynn about his retention of stress and his refusal to relax, but he understood where he was coming from. It was Flynn's dream to become a police officer and protect others, and it was their dream to help protect and change the world for the better. Yuri had given up on taking the path that Flynn had as military training had proven to be to rigid, and Yuri realized that he wasn't helping anyone by just standing up straight and marching in place.

But Flynn had persevered and stuck with it, and the way Yuri saw it for all his hard work it hadn't seemed to get him anywhere... Well, that wasn't exactly true. He got more stress and more sleepless nights, but nothing good. Yuri knew this, but he didn't know why Flynn had to take it out on him. Couldn't he see that he was just trying to help? Why did he always take things out on Yuri? Why wasn't he more angry with the people who refused his job application in the first place? He didn't know.

The tension between the two hadn't gone away the next morning, and Yuri still felt frustrated when he went to work. It was Flynn's day off, and things would have been even more tense if the two had to be in the same space as each other. Even though Flynn was only a waiter, the restaurant was small and they tended to brush into each other a lot.

Yuri worked as a chef at the restaurant. They sold food's catering to people who had allergies or odd diseases, especially children. The work was fairly easy, and his friend Judith had opened the restaurant herself. It had all started because Karol, a kid that Judith and Yuri had helped look after had a severe allergy to things with lactose. Karol often came over to help out after school and for Yuri it made his job just that much more enjoyable. And because they made food specifically for people with allergies, Yuri felt like he was helping people without having to rub elbows with any government officials.

Yuri had been slicing carrots much quicker and with more vigor than he had intended, and in doing so he almost cut right into his hand. He quickly withdrew his arm, letting out a soft curse under his breath. "I never knew that carrots could be so offensive." Judith said, walking up to the counter he was working at. "What'd they ever do to you? Or are you just taking out your anger at Flynn on these vegetables?"

"Who said that I was angry at Flynn?" Yuri said, going back to slicing.

"Oh, it's just a feeling that I get. You've also been pretty quiet today, which isn't very you."

"Well, yeah… but what does Flynn have to do with anything."

"It's just that whenever the two of you fight, it's pretty obvious because your mood always takes a nosedive. Not much else gets to you. It's been kind of happening a lot, these days."

Did he really think about Flynn that much? Was it really that obvious, or was Judith just good at sensing these things? Yuri was quiet for a moment before saying, "It's just that things haven't really been going well for him. He'll get over it when he finally gets that job; we'll just have to wait a bit longer."

"I'm sorry to here he didn't get it. That's really surprising though, I wonder who it was handed to instead?" Judith shook her head and her long strands of blue hair bobbed with her, "You don't have to go in detail about it, not that you would anyways… But why don't we head out to the front. I think I saw Rita sitting out there, so that means Estelle should be here soon. Why don't you talk to them? Take your mind off things for a while?"

"Well, if I'm out there, then who's going to make this salad?" Yuri pointed out.

"There's not that much left. I could finish for you."

"Why should you have to do my work?"

"You're so stubborn, never letting anyone do anything for you. Both you and Flynn. Just take a break afterwards, alright?" Judith said before walking away.

Yuri grunted in response, but when the time came he did walk up to the front of the restaurant. He noticed that Estelle had already arrived and was sitting across from Rita, and seemed to be talking eagerly about something. Rita was playing with some kind of gadget in her hands, and if Yuri didn't know the two he'd say that she looked pretty disinterested in what Estelle had to say. But everyone who was acquainted with the two knew better.

Estelle noticed Yuri walking over and eagerly waved to him. "Hey Yuri! Did you hear?" she asked suddenly.

"Hear what?"

"Well, um… I hope you're not mad at me. Don't worry, it's nothing bad! I don't think…" Estelle shook her head, "But anyways, I entered you in a "Chef of the Month" contest online. Somebody else has to enter you in the contest and then a judge comes to visit anonymously to try your food. And then the winner is featured on this website. It seems really cool!"

"II don't mind, but why'd you pick me? Judith does just as much work." Yuri asked.

"Oh, I asked Judith first and she suggested that we nominate you instead, since you're never up front with the customers and can never hear what they say. Even Rita thought it was a good idea." Estelle said.

Rita blushed, "I just figured that if Estelle was going to go through all the work of filling out an application online I might as well get behind it. It's whatever really…"

"Yeah! I also wrote that people like Rita who can't eat egg products are really grateful that you have food alternatives like this." Estelle grinned and the brunette.

"I don't remember saying that… I just said that it was nice to not have to cook for yourself for every meal. That's all… nothing big." Rita shrugged.

"I guess it does seem like you guys to get with everyone without telling me and plan out something like this. But I don't really deserve any kind of recognition. I mean… I'm just doing my job and I already get paid and stuff." He couldn't believe this. What he was doing wasn't hard, it just had started one day. Somebody like him didn't need this kind of attention.

"Oh, Yuri. I knew you'd try and play it off, but what you're doing is really sweet, and your food is always super delicious." Estelle said.

"Yeah, what the beautiful ladies are saying," a familiar voice said.

"Wow Yuri! You entered a contest!? That's so cool! I know you're gonna win for sure." said a much younger voice.

It was Karol, and his legal guardian, Raven. Or at least, that's what everyone called the old guy. He had taken Karol in a few years ago, based on a promise he had made someone else. Raven never went into the details of anything, and seemed to just show up at the restaurant whenever he pleased. Not that he wasn't allowed, he was just… odd. Nobody knew what he did for a living, and Yuri didn't think Karol knew either.

"Hey, Karol. I guess I can't slack off now that you've got my back, now can I?" Yuri said.

Karol nodded vigorously, "That's right."

"I guess things are really startin' to come together for you. And Flynn even got that interview, right? See, things all work out in the end. Usually." Raven said.

Yuri paused for a moment. "Where'd you hear that old man?"

"Ah, y'know. I've just got connections, s'all. I hear all kinds of things." Raven said with a shrug.

"Well, whatever. Flynn actually didn't get the job anyways. They gave it to somebody else." Yuri said.

"Wait, he didn't?" Raven sounded surprised.

"Did your "connections" not bother to tell you that?" Rita said with a smirk at Raven.

"Oh, Yuri, I'm so sorry to hear that." Estelle said, looking upset "And it was after Flynn did so well this time! Is he okay? What happened? Is that why he's not here today?"

"No, he just had the day off. He'll be fine, he always pulls through this kind of thing." Yuri tried brushed the issue off with a wave of his hand.

"Maybe there's something I could do to help though. I could try asking around." Estelle said, not letting the topic go so easily.

"I'm sure he'd be grateful for it, but there's no reason for you to go out of your way to do something."

"Maybe Raven could ask one of his "connections" that he's always talking about. Be useful for once." Rita suggested.

"Me and my big mouth… geeze. This is certainly a matter I figured I'd have to- er- What I mean is I'll just see what comes up. What do I know, after all, I'm not really involved in the matter, right? I won't promise anything, though." said Raven.

"Yuri, please tell Flynn that it'll be okay. He has a lot of friends to support him through this." Estelle said.

Yuri wasn't sure that Flynn would be in the mood to talk to him later, but he'd at least try. After all, if Estelle was going to go through all the trouble of trying to help, the least he could do was confront Flynn again. He'd have to eventually do it, anyways.

* * *

When Flynn woke up, he had a throbbing headache. Where was he? What had happened? He felt extremely disoriented. He didn't feel the greatest: all of his limbs were stiff and his entire of body held a slight ache. He cracked his eyes open a bit and was surprised at how bright it was. He was lying in bed in his room, and almost everything seemed normal. He looked to see what time it was: one o'clock in the afternoon.

Why on earth had he slept so late?! Something in the back of Flynn's mind told him that he should be devastated by something, but he just couldn't quite remember what it was. He didn't figure it mattered too much, but he had better get up now or else he'd be in bed until the next morning. When he pushed his stiff joints to stand up it hit him: he hadn't gotten the job.

Flynn groaned at the sudden realization and put his head in his hands. How could he had forgotten something like that? It had been on his mind the entire night last night, keeping him awake until early in the morning. The memory of the phone call stabbed in his head like a hot iron.

He had been so upset after words that he had that he had gone for a walk to clear his mind. During his walk, he decided to go and visit one of his police academy instructors, Niren Fedrock. Niren was a retired cop who had taken up teaching to keep himself busy without all of the excitement of being on the streets. His instructor had been glad to see him, but could tell by the look on his face that he was upset.

Flynn felt so bad, Niren always wrote him letters of recommendation for every job he applied for and he was always so supportive of him. Flynn wasn't entirely sure at first why he had decided to see him, as he wasn't sure what he wanted. In the end, he had tried to apologize for wasting the instructor's time. Niren just shook his head, saying that it was odd that someone so skilled and qualified hadn't made it on the force.

He had felt better after having talked for a bit, but on the way back home the weight of reality started to bear back on him. Maybe it was time to call it quits. He needed to get a job that paid well to help Yuri. He couldn't just keep mouching of his boyfriend for forever. He was sure that Yuri would never even say anything about it, as the other thought that he could handle everything alone. He'd just have to swallow his pride and work somewhere else. But where? Maybe-

Flynn thoughts were interrupted by a sharp knock on the door. He felt hungry and wrung out, and he seriously considered not answering the door. But the knocking continued, and the sooner he answered it the sooner the knocking would stop. When he saw who it was, his heart stopped. Could it really be…?

"Flynn Scifo! I need to talk to you." It was officer Leblanc. Had they changed their mind? Had it all been a terrible mistake? Flynn felt hope fill him, along with some adrenaline. His hands were shaking.

"S-sure. We can talk." Flynn stuttered. Why else would a police officer be here? He hadn't done anything bad. What else would he want to talk about.

"May I come in? This isn't something I really want to discuss where others could hear." Leblanc asked.

"Yeah, come in…"

Flynn felt numb. He fumbled with shutting the door and had to clench his fists together to stop shaking so much. The two sat across from each other in the cramped living room, and there was a moment of awkward silence. Leblanc seemed momentarily interested in a watch he was wearing, rubbing its face. Flynn just wanted to shout to just say what he had to say; to just end this waiting game. "Y'know… I guess I'll just say this. So you were at Niren Fedrock's residence yesterday evening."

Flynn swallowed hard. "That's right."

"Can you tell me a bit of what transpired yesterday between the two of you?"

Leblanc drew a pad of paper and a pen out of his pocket and wrote down what seemed to be Flynn's explanation. After Flynn was done speaking, Leblanc wiped his brow. He looked extremely uncomfortable. "So when you left last night was the last time you saw Fedrock, correct?"

"Yes."

"Niren Fedrock was found dead in an alleyway early this morning by a witness. He appears to have been brutally murdered. Did you happen to know anything about this?"

Flynn's entire body jolted in surprise... What? Niren was dead? No, it couldn't be. He hadn't heard what Leblanc was saying right. "What?! That can't be right, I was just talking to him yesterday? How could this happen?"

"Look, Flynn, I might know you personally, but that doesn't mean that others back at the station can be as easily convinced." Leblanc said.

"What do you mean?" He was confused. Where was this going?

"You were one of the last people to have seen this man alive, and we need answers. If you cooperate, it'll make my job a lot easier."

Flynn was still in shock when a new realization dawned on him: they thought _he_ murdered his instructor, and the wanted him to confess. "But I would never kill someone else! Let alone someone that I care about! I would never-"

"Look, I'm not here to arrest you, I just need answers. Are you sure you didn't see anything out of place at all?"

Flynn's mind raced, but he came up blank. He couldn't believe this! And here he had thought that he might have even had a shot at the getting on the force- instead the nightmare had only seemed to get worse. He had just seen Niren yesterday. Everything seemed so surreal. But what had happened? Nothing out of the ordinary. "No. I don't know what happened. I'm sorry."

"Well, I guess I'm done here. Might have more answers after the autopsy…" Leblanc stood up and took a few steps towards the door.

"So that's it!?" Flynn snapped, "You're just going to waltz right back out of here like nothing happened at all."

Leblanc sighed. "I have to stay on the case for now. I know that you were probably close, and I'm sorry for your loss. Niren was a good man. And it's probably especially hard for you, after what happened to your Father-"

"Y'know what? Never mind." Flynn couldn't handle this, "Just go and do your job the best you can. I don't wanna talk about it…"

"Call us if you remember anything or find anything out okay? Let the professionals handle this, kid." Was all that Leblanc said before leaving.

The last words stung. He really was just a kid, wasn't he? He really couldn't handle anything, could he? And his Father-

Flynn felt his eyes start to water. He wasn't going to cry, that would be even more like a kid, right? He was just really upset because Niren had died, and his head was just really congested. And he certainly wouldn't start crying over his Father again at this point in his life. He could handle himself, it was just a lot all at once. And he wouldn't cry, because Yuri would never let him live it down. He wouldn't. That's what he had told himself.

Or at least, that's how he would try to remember it.

* * *

He signed while glancing at the now emptying wine glass in his hand. Where had that lazy butler gone when he really needed him?! He hated waiting for things, and he certainly wasn't going to get up to get himself some more wine. Why couldn't things work out like how they were meant to be? Why couldn't everything be perfect? People always had to get in his way and try to ruin his life. But then again, he was Alexander Cumore, one of the most refined nobles to ever have lived. They were surely just jealous of his class, status, money and refined sense of style.

'Those idiots I sent out yesterday to take care of business left a mess everywhere and now the rest of the lower class idiots are all in a tizzy! I just ask for one person to disappear quietly and suddenly it's flung all over the news. Ah, if Alexei finds out that I acted without his permission he'll throw a fit. If others didn't try to meddle in my business it would have never had come to this. Oh, why can't they just leave me alone.'

'Not only that, but that lower class imbecile- oh, what's his name- the obnoxious blonde one- is always hanging around the station these days. Can't he tell where he's not wanted? Alexei almost let him in, but luckily I caught him just in time to throw him out. Isn't there _any_ quality control anymore? The upper class should be the one's to run things and I'm doing everyone a service by keeping things like how they should be.'

"Oh, no one pays me enough respect for all the hard work I do!" Cumore lamented out loud. "Why can't things be like the good old days when people knew their place? And where is that damned butler!"

Being patient really was difficult. Cumore didn't know how much more of working he could take. Things really would be better if Alexei would just hurry up and die already. Then he could take over and things would finally be so much better! If the old man didn't keel over soon, it might be necessary to help nudge him along in the right direction…

But for now, things seemed to be going in the right direction. At least of those "social equality" idiots had been taken care of, and that was probably enough hard labor for one week. Everything that Cumore deserved would come to him one day, even if he had to do some things himself.

* * *

When Yuri came home, he didn't know what kind of mood he'd find Flynn in- or if he'd find Flynn at all. He thought it was just as likely if the other had wandered off somewhere else to try and clear his mind. He certainly didn't expect to find the blond curled up in a tight ball on the couch, his clothing looked badly wrinkled and his hair was especially messy. He didn't think he had ever seen Flynn this messy this late in the day. Had he gone back to sleep? It was after six.

Trying to forget what had transpired between the two of them yesterday, Yuri cautiously approached the other. His eyes were open; bloodshot, but open. So, he probably wasn't asleep. "Hey…" Yuri said softly, "Are you okay?"

"No. No, I'm not okay." Flynn said, voice cracking.

That was certainly not the answer that he had been expecting. If Flynn wasn't even in the mood to at least try and pretend like he was alright like he normally did, then something was really, really wrong. Yuri took a seat on the arm of the old couch, the old squeal of wood was the only noise that could be heard in the room.

"What happened?" was all that Yuri said.

"A lot…" Flynn mumbled.

"Do you wanna tell me about it-?"

"Mr. Fedrock's dead."

That was something else that Yuri hadn't' expected to hear. "Wait, you mean like, Niren Fedrock. Like, your old teacher? THAT Niren Fedrock?!"

"Yes, Yuri. That Fedrock." Flynn paused, "It's all over the local news… I had to turn the television off. I was tired of… seeing it."

"I take it if the news is talking about it then he didn't go naturally then, did he?"

"No, he didn't."

Yuri felt disgust well up inside of him. It was always the good people in their lives that wound up dead. Flynn always seemed to lose those who he was close to and looked up to. Yuri had known Niren through Flynn, and had really liked the guy. He seemed to be one of the only police officers that Yuri had actually liked on a personal level. And now he had to go, when Flynn probably needed others the most-

"Leblanc came by earlier and told me…"

"Hmm…? They told you personally? I mean, I guess he didn't have a lot of family either-"

"No, Yuri. They… they think I did it."

"Wait, what? Who thought you did what?"

"The police are considering me as a primary suspect in Fedrock's murder…" Flynn's voice sounded flat. He didn't sound worried in the least about what he was saying.

"WHAT!? That's bullshit! You'd never do something like that! Flynn, what's going on, what happened?!" Yuri shouted.

"I went to visit him yesterday. I just wanted to ask him for advice… I was the last one to see him-"

"So you just talked to him him and now everyone thinks you're some kind of killer right? Gee, that makes perfect sense. It's just what I've come to expect of any sort of government official. Blaming the innocent just because they don't want to get off there asses and do any real work to catch whoever the real murder is!" Yuri was furious. Of course something like this would happen. As if things weren't already bad enough.

"I can't do anything… I'm just a kid…" Flynn murmured.

"Hmm…? Where'd that come from?" Yuri turned his attention back to his boyfriend, "Hey, you aren't actually blaming yourself for what happened right?"

"I was the last one to see him… and… I just realized something. It's my fault. It really is my fault he died." Flynn pulled his legs closer to his chest.

"No it's not. Don't listen to what some halfwit like Leblanc has to say anyways." Yuri tried to keep his voice soft and level because felt concerned for Flynn; he had never seen him act like this.

"Yesterday… when I went to see him… I told him what happened. And he said that he'd look into some things for me. I said he didn't have to, but he insisted. And now look. Because I'm just a no-good kid who can't do anything someone so kind and important had to die…" Flynn's words were monotone and flat. His eyes seemed to be looking off into the distance; unmoving. "I already called the Leblanc and told him everything I know. I don't think they'll find what I said to be very helpful. It's not a very great alibi."

"Hey, you're not just some 'no-good kid'. Where'd you even get an idea like that? It's not like just anyone has your level of dedication. Look, I know that things aren't great right now, but everything's going to work out in the end."

"How?" Flynn pushed himself up and glared at Yuri, "There's nothing that I can do. The police specifically told me to keep out of things or else they'll have even more of a reason to think that I did it!"

"Things certainly aren't going to get any better with that attitude. And you're always off trying to take care of everything yourself. Just earlier I heard Estelle say herself that she wanted to help you. A lot of people do…"

"What?! Tell Ms. Estellise to please not get involved. Look at what just happened to the Captain! I'll never forgive myself if something happens to her." Flynn sounded upset.

"Well, I don't want her getting hurt either, but I don't think she'll listen to either of us. I doubt she'll do anything too rash, though. Right now our real concern is figuring out who really murdered Niren." Yuri said.

"What?! But, Yuri- we were just told not to do anything!"

"Are you really just going to sit idly by knowing that it's more than likely someone's going to be back to arrest you? Flynn, I know you're upset right now, but we need to do something. Even if you don't want to, I will."

Flynn ground his teeth together- "Then what do you suggest? Are you planning on breaking into the police station yourself so you can go through all their files?!"

"If worst comes to worst then sure. At least then they'll have to put the both of us in prison."

"Yuri, don't say stuff like that! I don't want you getting yourself into serious trouble!"

"I can't let you go to prison by yourself. I don't think you're mentally prepared for the slammer…"

"Quit kidding around! Neither of us have to go to jail. And we're not going to break the law either. This is my problem…"

"Do you have a way to fix your problem?"

Flynn didn't say anything. He wasn't particularly looking for an immediate way to fix anything. Everything he was trying ended up only making things worse anyways, so he had decided to take a break from trying. He hadn't planned on jumping right back into things. But, could he really wait? What if he really did get into trouble? Was… was someone out to get him? It seemed silly to even think something like that. After all, he wasn't particularly in a stance of power, so he wasn't a threat.

But… what could he do? If he didn't do anything, Yuri or Estellise might do something really reckless in order to help him.

"It's too late to do much for today, and I can tell you're exhausted…" Yuri said, standing up. "But why don't we go and pay the old man a visit tomorrow?"

"You mean Mr. Raven?" Flynn asked, "Why?"

"He always seems to know the latest news on things. Even some things that the police themselves might not know. Maybe he can help explain some things. He always seems to have to have some insider news about this and such. I don't think we could catch him even if we went over to his place right now. I think he usually out at night. Even if he's asleep when we go over there tomorrow morning, it's no problem to wake him up right?" Yuri shrugged.

"Hey, there's really no need to bother your friends and disrupt their personal lives for a shot-in-the-dark chance that he might know something." Flynn shook his head. He didn't want to rely on people anymore than he already was.

"It'll be fine. Besides, I do a lot of favors for him. I watch after Karol sometimes when he has to run off on his "errands"."

Flynn gave up. He didn't have anything else to do anyways. He didn't think that Raven would know anything, but he didn't know anything, either. He supposed that it couldn't hurt to ask.

Yuri smiled, "I'll take your silence as a yes. I know it's hard for you to admit when I have a good idea. But I've got another idea and that idea's dinner. When's the last time you've eaten, anyways?"

Flynn thought about it, "I think… it's been a while."

"I'll make us some ham sandwiches."

Yuri had already started to head for the kitchen when Flynn called out, "Do you want me to help?"

He grimaced, "No, why don't you just take it easy. There's no need to push yourself that far."

Flynn felt slightly insulted at the comment, but shrugged it off. He did feel pretty weak from everything. Maybe he would feel better after he had eaten.

* * *

"Are you sure about this? It's only nine-thirty in the morning." Flynn commented, pulling uneasily at his sleeve.

The two were standing outside Raven's apartment, about to go in. Several times that morning Flynn would sheepishly suggest that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to "bother someone else" for help. It took all of Yuri's strength to not snap at the other, as it was still early and it was annoying to hear the same question every few minutes. But he knew that Flynn needed someone to be at least a little put together in his life, and it wasn't often that he'd accept help.

Yuri glanced over at the other, still sluggish and exhausted looking. "Yeah, it's fine. I don't know any other way to catch Raven unless he's sleeping."

Without anymore hesitation, Yuri knocked on the door. No one came right away, and the wait made Flynn shift around on his feet. He was just about to suggest that they should go and leave the whole matter be when the door finally opened.

"Yuri…? What are you doing here?" It was Karol. The boy was still wearing his pajamas and his hair was sticking up at odd angles. It seemed as if he had just woken up.

"Oh, hey Karol. Sorry if we woke you up. I was trying to get the old man to come and answer the door." Yuri said, inviting himself in, "Aren't you supposed to be at school anyways?"

"It's a Saturday! And besides, aren't you guys supposed to be at work or something?"

"No, I was thinking about taking the day off to take care of some business… Is Raven here?"

Karol yawned and shut the door after everyone was inside. "I don't know where Raven is. He left last night, and I don't think he's back yet."

"Raven leaves you here all by yourself? What if something bad were to happen?" Flynn asked in disbelief.

"I can take care of myself. I'm not a little kid, y'know!" Karol said, sticking his hands on his hips and puffing his chest out.

"Yeah, he does that a lot," Yuri said, "I figured he be back by now though. Do you know what he's been doing?"

Karol shook his head. "Not really. He's been super busy lately. First he has to run some letters here and there, and then he's off doing something else. It's actually be pretty lonely here."

Yuri ruffled Karol's hair before the boy pushed his hand away, "Sorry to hear that. I didn't know that Raven was such a busy guy."

"What were you going to ask him anyways? You're up super early and you brought Flynn with you too." Karol paused for a moment and then gasped, "Are you guys on a super secret important adventure!?"

"Well, uh… I'm not sure-" Flynn started.

"Sure. I guess you could say that." Yuri cut in.

"Wow! That's sooo cool! Can I join in too? Please? I promise not to weigh you guys down-" Karol babbled on, now looking fully awake and alive with excitement.

Yuri glanced at Flynn and saw that his face was filled with far less excitement. He seemed worried, "I'm not sure Karol. What we're doing… it's not really something that I want anyone else to have to deal with. I'm sorry." Flynn saw the crushed look on Karol's face and quickly added, "I promise to take you on the next adventure. Maybe one that's far less dangerous…"

Karol still seemed disappointed, but at least to be a little mullified with the answer he got. "Okay, but you guys have to take me with for real. I'm going to remember that you promised."

"Don't worry. I'll make sure Flynn holds up his end of the deal," Yuri said smirking at the blond. "In the meantime, is it okay to stay here for a bit Karol? We really need to talk to Raven. I think he can help us out."

Karol grinned, "Sure, I don't mind, but only on one condition: you guys have to play games with me until then."

"Well then, I guess we don't have a choice." Yuri glanced at Flynn. "Is that okay with you?"

Flynn felt anxious and the last thing he wanted to do was sit around and waste time. But even if he said no, what else could he do? It wasn't like he could apply for jobs that didn't exist, or pull evidence that proved his innocence out of thin air. He already hated that he had to ask for help like this when he hadn't done anything to help Raven out personally. Waiting only caused his emotions to stir around inside of him, causing him to feel ill. He didn't think that he had ever felt so powerless in his life before. He _hated_ that feeling.

But there was nothing else that he could do.

And so, the three of them ended up playing board games waiting for Raven to arrive. It was a few hours later when Flynn began to feel as if he was certainly stuck in some awful dream. 'I wonder if Raven's even going to get here… I mean, of course he's going to come home at some point, because he wouldn't just leave Karol like that, right? But what if it's not today? Or what if something terrible happened to him? Not only would we be even more lost, but then we'd have to take care of Karol, too. I can barely take care of myself, I can't take care of someone so young…'

"…you're doing it again." Yuri's voice broke through his thoughts, "It's your turn, sleepy."

"Oh, uh, sorry-"

"I can tell that you're worrying yourself to death over there. There's nothing we can do right now, so calm down. When we get things figured out, then you can worry."

Flynn bit his lower lip between his teeth. He was very conscious that Karol was in the room, and it was the only thing that prevented him from starting another fight. Karol looked between the two, certain that there was something odd about the way the two were acting. He was just about to ask what they were talking about when the front door opened.

"Hey, you're late old man." Yuri called when he saw who it was.

Raven sighed and rubbed the back of his head. "I wondered why the front door wasn't locked. I thought that I had forgot. What's a group of trouble makers like you even doing?"

"We're playing board games!" Karol explained, "They said they wanted to see you but you weren't here. Aw… but now that you're here, we probably are done playing aren't we?"

"Why would you want to talk to someone as boring as me? I don't have anything good to say. And after such a long night too…" Raven seemed to mutter the last part to himself.

"It's pretty important actually. I figured that you might be able to at least help us a little." Yuri said standing up, "It's kind of about Flynn."

"I'm not going to get to go to sleep anytime soon am I?"

"I'm sorry for bothering you. If you really want, we can leave-" Flynn said hurriedly.

"No, there's no need for that. You waited all this time so I guess it really must be important. I guess I can try to help you out. Not sure if I'll be of much use to you. Just let me sit down first…"

Flynn and Yuri explained everything that had happened in the past few days. Recounting the events brought up the still painfully fresh memories, but Flynn thought the feeling was a sight better than sitting around pretending like nothing had happened.

After they were done explaining, Raven sighed. "I never imagined that they'd be so adamant on tryin' to keep a kid like you out… And I heard about what happened with Niren. To be honest, I don't think that case's going anywhere."

"What do you mean?" Flynn asked.

"Look, you didn't hear anything I'm about to say here from me, but, Niren didn't have a lot of friends in the police force."

"Wait, so you're saying that a police officer was the one who did away with him!? Damn, I never knew the captain had that many people out to get him." Yuri grit his teeth together.

"Could someone really get away with something like that?"

Raven shrugged. "I don't know who did it. Could've just as easily been a government official or someone of the like who wanted him gone. But the point is, even if it was, they're not going to get sentenced. Unless someone else even more high up wanted them to be found. But there's nobody like that right now. That'd be a whole other big commotion."

"So what you're saying is that there's never going to be any justice for the captain?!" Yuri was furious, "Of course not. I'm not surprised. What else have I come to expect?"

"It's no secret that it's hard to get anywhere in as a public official unless you have money or some kind of connection. The police force kind of has a hierarchy in this neighborhood too. It's all because of that obnoxious Cumore guy too-"

Flynn eyes widened. "Hey, that's the guy who conducted my interview. You know him?"

Raven scratched his chin. "Know him? I certainly hear things about him. He's just some spoiled rich kid who's Daddy'd cut off his allowance unless he did something. So he got a job as deputy and pushes people around a lot. And I'm sorry to say it, but he's probably the reason why Flynn didn't get hired. Mostly that guys just picks people who he thinks will do his bidding without thinking. I know you might not think it now, but you might be thankful that one day you didn't end up working directly under that guy.

But honestly at this point, there's nothing that anyone can do about anything. Or at least, I can't. My hands are a bit tied at the moment, anyways."

Flynn felt disappointed. He hadn't hoped that Raven would do all his work for him, but the situation looked bleak. "I always knew that things were corrupt, but that's why I wanted to enter the force in the first place. To change things. I wanted to make a difference. But it doesn't even look like I'm going to get a chance."

"Look kid, don't think this is the end here." Raven said, "Sure, this time didn't turn out to be what anybody expected, but there are lots of other chances out there. I mean, I certainly didn't expect to end up where I did, or the path I took to get here."

"Thank you… I'm not going to give up. I just… don't know what to do next." Flynn said. "But, I'm sure I'll figure it out. Thank you again for your time."

"Are you leaving? Okay with me." Raven yawned, "I really have to be getting to sleep right now. I've been up forever. Take care, kids."

* * *

Flynn pulled his shoes off and carefully set them down on the floor of his closet. He was exhausted, and he felt as if his bones had turned into jelly. He took a seat on the edge of his bed. He had known that the others were planning on throwing Yuri a surprise party for winning the Chef of the Month award, but he hadn't expected it to be that wild. It had gone on until the middle of the night and Yuri and Flynn had just gotten home.

Flynn was proud of Yuri, he really was. The other had come a long way from being the delinquent of a boy he once knew. Yuri really was making a difference in others lives, in his own life as well. Deep down, Flynn had to admit that he felt a little… envious. The other had ended up so successful; it wasn't that he didn't want that for the other, but why had it ended up this way?

It had been almost a whole month since Flynn had first heard about Niren's death, and he had learned nothing new in the meanwhile. It was life had punched him in the face and then just expected him to forget about it. Part of him had felt like nothing had happened at all. Maybe he had just made it all up. He wished he had. At least then he could stop feeling so gloomy all of the time.

Even though life seemed to be moving on there was still tension between the two lovers. Flynn knew Yuri wasn't to blame, but he couldn't help feel like snapping at the other, no matter what it was. He felt like anything the other would do was irritating. Part of him knew he was being irrational, but he didn't know if he cared. He felt bad for how he was treating Yuri, but he didn't feel like he could stop.

Yuri knew that Flynn had been in a bad mood lately, so he generally tried to stay out of the other's way to avoid conflict. He really wanted to yell at the other and tell him to snap out of it, but he knew that if he did it could really hurt their relationship. But what was he supposed to do? Just put up with it the whole time? This couldn't go on too much longer or he was going to go off on Flynn. And he knew the other was itching for a fight, that would just be giving the other the what he wanted.

The entire bed shook as Yuri flopped down on it with a loud groan. Flynn turned around to look at him. "You look tired." Flynn commented.

"So do you." Yuri said with a stretch, "You know, I always tell Judy and the others not to go out of there way for things like this and what do they do? Throw a huge party. Geeze, I never thought I'd win either…"

"Your food is really good. You deserve this." Flynn said.

"I dunno… I feel like you work hard too. A lot of people do. I'd give the award to you if I could." Yuri said without a second thought.

"I don't deserve anything. I honestly haven't done anything yet. I might not do anything. Maybe this is the way it's always going to be." Flynn mumbled, turning back away from Yuri.

"Not this again…"

"Fine. I won't bring it up… I just-"

"Just what?"

"I'm just jealous of you!" Flynn snapped.

Yuri was confused, what was the other talking about? "You're jealous of me? Is it because of the award?

"No, not because of the award. I'm just jealous and I feel so guilty."

"You feel guilty because you're jealous?"

"No…! Well, yes, but what I'm trying to say is I feel bad. You've been taking care of me lately and that's not how I want it to be. I want us to be equals. I want both of us to be able to fill our dream of helping others. And how I've been acting lately… It's like you've grown up and I'm the one who started acting like a toddler."

"You have been acting a little irritable lately-"

Even though Flynn agreed, he winced at the comment.

"I'd rather it be me taking care of you, if one of us had to take care of the other. It's just that I love you and all I am is a burden on you. You've been taking care of me and this was your apartment in the first place. I just moved in. And I can't even do anything like cook dinner for you."

"Flynn-"

"You should just break up with me and go and find someone who's actually worthy of you. Someone who can actually be your equal."

"Flynn!" Yuri shouted, "Do you really think that I'm just going to dump you just because you've hit one rough patch in your life?! Think about all we've been through in the past. We never let anything tear us apart and I'll be damned if I'm going to let it now. Do think that even if we were separated right now that I'd ever be able to forget about you?"

"I…" Flynn was at a loss for words. He had never expected Yuri's response to be so serious. Yuri rarely ever took anything seriously and Flynn only ever heard him use that tone on the rarest of occasions.

"What if i were in your shoes? Would you leave me for somebody else?" Yuri asked.

"Of course not, I'd never leave you! Flynn said.

"Then stop being an idiot. I'm not leaving you and you're not a burden."

Flynn paused and took in what Yuri was saying. He had never imagined what it would have been like if he was in Yuri's place. It seemed really obvious. Of course he wouldn't abandon one of the only people who had ever been family to him. He trusted him. It was just hard to believe that Yuri could see him in that same way.

"To be honest, when we were kids I always thought that it would stay the same…"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Well, it's just that you were always the one making trouble when we were kids. I was certain that I'd have to look after you forever to make sure that you stay out of trouble."

"Hey!" Yuri jabbed the other in the back.

Flynn chuckled, and laid down beside Yuri, not having to make eye contact but not needing to. "Yeah, I'm sorry. It's just that I've been thinking… things really didn't turn out how I expected them to at all."

"You always were so single minded, you know that right? There's more than one way to do things. Even though you kept with being in the military, I knew that it wasn't for me. I just felt like the way that things were going I couldn't get anything done."

There was a pause between them. Yuri always said those same words. Whenever things didn't work out one way he would become frustrated and try to take another path. Flynn didn't feel like that at all, he always wanted to keep going the same way, and Yuri always called him stubborn for it. Maybe he was stubborn… a little _too_ stubborn.

"I'm sorry…" Flynn said softly.

"H-hey, quit apologizing. It's weird… You didn't do anything wrong anyways." Yuri sounded embarrassed.

"I was a jerk to you when the person who I had problems with was myself. That's why I apologized." Flynn said.

"So you've finally admitted it." Yuri said teasingly.

Flynn pinched Yuri's arm and laughed. "Hey, I thought you said you were done being a jerk."

"I am. I just can't let you get away with everything." Flynn wrapped his arms around the other and drew him closer. "If you want, I can make it up to you. I'll do anything you'd like."

He kissed Yuri on the cheek and he grinned. "Hmm… I guess I can overlook your behavior if you make it worth my while."

Flynn certainly intended to make it worth his while.

* * *

Things seemed to have returned to normal between the two lover's, Judith had noticed. It had all happened after the party they had thrown for Yuri, and while she did not know exactly what had happened, she felt as if she might have had an inkling. She was glad that her two favorite dorks were being their usual selves, at the very least because it made the air less tense when they were both at work.

Today, Estelle had apparently texted Yuri saying that there was something that she wanted to show Flynn. He had spent the entire day serving orders with his curiosity pulling at the back of his mind. He felt like he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it until he knew what it was.

Flynn felt the pair of arms around him before he saw her. "Flynn!" Estelle cried, squeezing him tightly.

"O-oh. Estellise, I'm glad to see that you're here." He gasped.

"Flynn, there's something that I wanna tell you about!" Estelle said excitedly.

Rita had walked into the restaurant behind Estelle and nodded her head in greeting. Yuri and Judith walked over at the commotion, knowing who it was without even having to look. "I hear that you had some exciting news to tell Flynn earlier. I hope you don't mind if we listen in." Judith said.

"No, I don't mind! But you'll never believe it Flynn! So, do you guys know my cousin Ioder, right?" Estelle asked.

"Oh, he's the one running for mayor right? Of course I've heard about him." Flynn said.

A lot of people heard about him. He was a rather young candidate, all of the others had been ranging in their mid-forties or up, so a lot of people didn't hold a lot of respect for him. But the goals that he seemed to be fighting for were honorable.

"Well, anyways, now that he's running, he's going to be in a lot more danger from now on. So, they're hiring more secret service members to follow him around and stuff. And I know it's a bit out of your way, and it's certainly got a lot of long hours, but if you applied for the job I'd put in a good word for you." Estelle said, "I thought you might be interested. If you're not, you don't have to-"

"N-n-no, I'm interested! But Estellise, is it alright for you to offer me something like this?" Flynn asked, his heart racing.

"Of course! There's no one that I know who works harder than you, so I know that you'd keep Ioder safe. It'd make me really happy in fact, if you took this job." Estelle beamed.

"I guess we're going to have to hire a new waiter, Judy. It looks like Flynn's leaving. Here's to hoping that the next guy who works here's not nearly as annoying, eh?" Yuri said, clapping Flynn on the shoulder.

"Y-Y-Yuri, I don't have the job yet!" Flynn stuttered. He was too afraid to get his hopes up again, it would almost be too good to be true. It certainly wouldn't have been the way he had been expecting, but he didn't mind in the least. In fact, he would be overjoyed. And he even be in the presence of someone he looked up to like Ioder.

"Yeah, but something tells me this one's not going to get away. Especially if Estelle works her magic. She has a way getting things she wants done." Yuri said.

"Thank you so much, Estellise. This means so much to me." Flynn said.

Estelle smiled, "It's no problem. I just figured that if everyone pitched in we could get something figured out eventually."

"So, are you going to apply for it?" Rita asked. "Or are we just getting all worked up for no reason?"

"Of course I am." Flynn said, smiling a wide smile that he had felt in months, "I'm going to give it my best shot."

"Ha, that's the Flynn I know." Yuri said, "I know that you'll do great. You always do."


End file.
